My New Challenge

Hello everyone! (Warning: this entry is not intended to be negative or full of "poor me's"...I'm just writing down some things happening in my life!) :)

I have a confession.

I am a worry wart. To the extreme.

Let me explain. I have had this problem of mine for as long as I can remember. I have made a lot of seemingly simple things in my life a lot more complicated because I worry too much. I always worry about things that hardly ever happen and then beat myself up inside for worrying over it when everything turns out ok. I internalize everything (I don't like people seeing my stress and frustration so I learned to hide it)...which has, on numerous occasions, made me physically ill. Every time I try to get some sleep, and I know I have a big day coming up the next day or that week, I immediately start thinking of everything I have to do and I make myself think I have to get it all done the next day, thus resulting in waking up no less than 4 times a night and not being able to fall asleep for two hours after I go to bed. Like I said, this is a problem I've had for quite some time and I know it's only going to get worse if I don't do something about it. Simply talking it out does not help because I keep thinking of everything I have to do and it makes me anxious and jittery.

SO, my loving husband, Lee, took it upon himself to help me to fix this problem of mine. He is an EXTREMELY patient man (thank heavens) and has helped me through many bad days and illnesses. He has been such a strength and an example to me as we have been married, and let me tell you, he is the greatest blessing I could ever receive in my life. Lee is the only one (besides my mom) that has truly been able to get through to me when I am struggling. He knows exactly what to say and how to help me feel better about anything, no matter the situation, every single time.

I think Heavenly Father knew what I needed and he sent me my Lee.

Now, having said all that, Lee introduced me to a book called, "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" by Dale Carnegie. This book, so far, is AWESOME. I am only through chapter one as of tonight but I know this book can help me. Lee has been reading "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by the same author and just loves the book. I already have learned so much about the simple fact that all we have is today, this very moment. Why waste our time worrying about what happened yesterday or what could happen tomorrow? There is a lovely poem that I enjoyed in the first chapter of my book, which sets the stage, I believe, for the rest:

Salutation To The Dawn

by Kalidasa (famous Indian dramatist)

Look to this day!

For it is life, the very life of life.

In its brief course

Lie all the verities and realities of your existence:

The bliss of growth

The glory of action

The splendor of beauty,

For yesterday is but a dream

And tomorrow is only a vision,

But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness

And every tomorrow a vision of hope,

Look well, therefore, to this day!

Such is the salutation to the dawn.

So my challenge, to myself, is to take this book and apply it to the best of my ability to my everyday life so that I may finally conquer this problem. Of course, my Heavenly Father is heavily involved and will always be. Only through Him may I make my weaknesses become strengths.

I know I can master this. I want to be able to remember these years and tell my kids how happy I was!

I hope you'll go with me through this little journey!